He Sees All of Me

I tend to lean toward the logical and intellectual side.  I love to think about problems and mysteries until I find a solution or an answer.  I love the feeling of finally grasping a concept, but the things that hold my attention and make me stand in awe are things I will never understand. 

My mind often lingers on how God is outside of time and space.  How does that even work?  Everything I know of this world is constrained by time and space.  In the beginning, God was there, before time.  Right now, at 6:24 pm on Sunday, April 1st, 2012, God is here, but He is outside of time.  One day, time will end and God will still be there.  He is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End.  (Revelations 21:6)

Furthermore, God sees it all.  He sees the past, the present, the future. 

I have been feeling incompetent, lately.  Some days have flown by without me stopping and taking the time to have a real conversation with my Daddy and then I lose sight of Him in my daily life.  I am not perfect, I am unworthy, but for some reason, He won't give up on me.  He loves me. 

Today, He told me that He sees all of me.  Of course, I knew that.  If you had asked me yesterday, if God sees all of me, I would have said, "Absolutely!  He sees my thoughts, my motives, the darkest parts of my heart, every good thing He has ingrained in me".  I missed part of what that means, though.  He doesn't only see me as I am right now.  He sees my past, my present, and my future. 

I can sit here and think about all I could be and how much I wish I could become who I really want to be, a person who is completely in love with Jesus, follows Him wherever He leads her without question, who loves well as the Master does.  I could go on and on.  The trouble is, that's not who I am.  At least, that's not how I see myself now.  It is my hope that I will grow into that person.  God, on the other hand, never says, "I wish you would become _____ because that's actually what I want and it's my plan for you, but I just don't know if you'll ever get there."  He sees everything I will be.  To Him, that is part of who I am. 

Take my past, my present, and my future, mash it all together, and that is who I am.  I am not just a sinner, I am redeemed.  I fall again and again, but He picks me up and sets me back on my feet.  He doesn't only see the good in me and he doesn't only see the sin in me.  In my best moments, He knows my sin and in my worst moments, He sees what I will be along with the present.  He sees it all, and together, it creates a beautiful picture of His love and grace and mercy. 

He sees all of me.  Every part of me from my beginning to my end.  I find such a glorious hope and peace in that knowledge.

This is one of my favorites, a little like "Revelation Song".