Recalibration

This is going to sound cliche, but life is a journey and there are countless ways to live it. There seem to be many roads to walk, but, really, there are only two options. Jesus said, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it" (Matthew 7:13-14). It comes down to this. We can choose to walk in fellowship with God, glorifying Him, or we can choose to turn our backs and choose the other path. The broad road is enticing. It is filled with things the flesh lusts after.  This is "All the Pretty Things" by Tenth Avenue North.  It talks about how we get distracted by earthly things and asks God to help us stay focused on Him.

In the end, these things we allow to seduce us and draw us off the narrow road are empty. They leave us broken, unfulfilled. They steal our joy as we gradually lose our grip on our identity in Christ. Did I say steal? That's not quite right. It's certainly not a fair trade, but nothing can steal our joy, our identity. Addiction, abuse, the devil himself, whatever tempts or afflicts you, nothing has the power or authority to steal your identity in Christ or take you off the narrow road- you have to walk away yourself. This is comforting and convicting at the same time.  Sometimes we are blind. We don't pay attention and consciously choose the narrow road. One day we wake up, look around, and see a mangled life, broken by sin, far from God. Thank God that He is never far from us. He is with you in your darkest moment - your greatest trial, your blackest sin, your guilt, your grief. Always. He is there when we hate Him. He is there when we kick and scream against Him. He is there when we blame Him. And He cares. God will "never leave you nor forsake you" (Deuteronomy 31:6). All this being said, when you go on a journey, you need someone to tell you which way to go - to guide you. These days, a GPS is often the guide of choice, with that ever nagging voice and horrific "recalculating". (Never try to use a GPS in downtown San Francisco. Just. Don't. Do. It.) Whose voice is your GPS? I should ask myself this question more often. Am I listening to God, trusting Him to guide my every footstep? Or am I giving the directions? Have you ever tried giving yourself directions to a place you have never been, without an address, in an area you don't know at all? Tomorrow, I think I'll go find Charley Schmorple's house in Indiana without a map, GPS, or phone book, without talking to anyone. See what I mean? Something tells me I'm going to be in Indiana for awhile. We can't always see, we are easily tempted, easily distracted, easily deceived, and we quickly abandon the narrow road. God is our perfect guide. He is omniscient and nothing can cause Him to sin. God is "a lamp to [our] feet and a light for [our] path" (Psalm 119:105). I want God to be the voice of the GPS that guides me through life. I desire to enter through the narrow gate and walk the narrow road. It takes courage. It requires constant decisions to deny ourselves, take up our crosses, and follow Jesus as He commanded. It's high time I changed the settings on my GPS. Let's choose God's voice and turn the volume all the way up.

Recalibrating 

Overcoming Failure

Failure. It's a natural part of being human. Everyone fails, even those who project a seemingly perfect image to the world. It's a hard thing. No one enjoys failing. Failure often quickly turns into an ever-deepening despair. "I was inconsiderate toward that person" turns into "I fail to love people well", which turns into "I'm a horrible person", "I'll never be good enough", "No one could ever love me", and so on. We can't let our failures consume us. Beating ourselves up over our failures does nothing to help us, it only tempts us to fall into believing the lie that no one could ever love us. Christ has loved you. He still loves you when you fail. He will love you through the billions of failures in your lifetime.

Of course, it would be a huge mistake to ignore our failures. We are not perfect, our failures must be acknowledged. Rather than dwelling on them, though, we need to ask for forgiveness (when relevant) and ask God to help us improve. We need His help to change.  This is something I am working on.  I fail a lot and I tend to dwell on my failures.  I have to remind myself not to sit in a puddle and bemoan my shortcomings, but ask God to help me change.

When you fail a math test, you want to do better next time. You get a better score by studying, not by giving in to despair and telling yourself "I'm stupid. I can't do this." What do you do if you have tried but simply cannot understand? You get a tutor - someone to help you. We need a tutor - the Holy Spirit - to help us overcome our failures. It's the only way we can pass the math test - overcome the failures that discourage us.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6

This applies to failure. We know our God is more powerful than we could ever imagine. He can save us from our failures. If we ask Him, He will give us peace. And not just "well-I-guess-it-will-be-okay peace", but peace so all-encompassing that we cannot comprehend it.

Praise God that we do not have to be perfect. Even in our worst failures, we are covered by His incredible grace.

Extraordinary Purpose

God has a plan for your life. Really! He has an extraordinary purpose for each of our lives.  As I get to know God better, I have this overwhelming feeling of... something. Something great. The only word I can think of to describe it is expectation, but that doesn't do the feeling justice. The more I discover about God's heart as he molds mine, the more I am assured that I am on this earth to do great things. I don't know when, I don't know where, but I'm so excited to find out. Maybe, one day, He will take me to Indonesia, an African village, or a jungle in South America; or maybe He has something less exotic in mind. Maybe His plan has me in my hometown, simply loving people for the rest of my life.  God can certainly use any one of us no matter where we are.  Whatever he has planned, I know it will be amazaing.
 My favorite passage from the Bible is Acts 17:24-28, when Paul presents the gospel to the Athenians. Acts 17:26 says "and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live". God decided exactly what second I would be born and exactly where I would live, here in Edmonds, before I was born. He already knows exactly where I will be this second, five years, ten years, fifty years from now! How crazy is that? I can't even say for sure what will happen tomorrow. One day, He'll tell me more about His plan for my life. One day, I'll discover what it is I've been waiting for. Until then, I can glorify God right where He has placed me.

I've never been much of a dreamer. I have always been defined by concrete, if lofty, goals. Until now. God's plan is so much better than mine could ever be. His plans are to give me a hope and a future - first, to glorify Him on earth, then, eventually, to spend eternity with Him. One day, I'll know what He has for me to do here. Until then, I can dream of what His marvelous plan for my life could be.

One day... maybe...

Show Him

I was reading my friend Hannah's blog (you should check it out :) http://hannahborcherdt.wordpress.com/2011/11/25/algun-dia/), this post beginning with how women don't just want to be told we are loved, we want to be shown.   That reminded me of the song "Show Me" from the movie "My Fair Lady" 

God showed us his unconditional love when Christ took upon himself every sin that had or would be committed and died upon the cross.  He payed the ultimate price so that those who trust in Him would be made holy.  Without this gift, our sin would separate us from God forever.  1 John 1:5 says "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all."  Sin is darkness.  Sin cannot be in God's presence just as darkness cannot be found in the light.  How amazing it is, then, that God loves us regardless of our sin and purified us so that we could walk in the light and be in His presence.  Too often, I think the "ultimate price" Jesus payed was death.  Yes, His death was brutal, agonizing, unimaginably painful; but that only scratches the surface of what He did for us.  The ultimate price paid for our salvation is separation from God.  I don't remember which book it was (there are too many!) but a comment was made that Christians often misinterpret the reason God turned His face away from Jesus on the cross.  Christians generally say, "God couldn't bear to see His Son suffering on the cross.  That's why he turned away."  But no, the author asserts.  God turned His back on Jesus because He was laden with the sins of the world - darkness.  God, in His holiness, could not have that darkness in His presence, so He turned away.  

As people, we desire to be shown we are loved.  God undeniably showed us His love.  Now we are called to respond in kind.  The Holy Spirit nudges us, saying, "Show Me.  Show Me you love Me."  This is different from simply believing in God.  James 2:19 says "You believe that there is one God.  Good!  Even the demons believe that - and shudder."  Surely, we can do better than the demons!  The hole in each person's soul cannot be filled with knowledge of God on its own.  We are made complete by God's perfect love, but also by loving Him in return.  How can we say we have a relationship with God if we take without giving?  Stalin almost certainly believed Churchill existed.  Did he love him?  Probably not.  

Furthermore, it is easy to say "I love God", but is it really true?  Love is inevitably manifested in actions.  This is why we crave to be shown love.  If, for too long, we hear "I love you" without actions to back it up, a natural fear develops that we are not indeed loved.  Love is inevitably manifested in actions.  This is why we crave to be shown love.  If we hear "I love you" without actions to back it up, after a while, a natural fear develops that we are not indeed loved.  If we truly love God, we will show it.  It’s the same idea behind the relationship between faith and works. 

We show God we love Him by obeying. Jesus said, “If you love me, you will obey what I command” (John 14:15), which is reiterated throughout the gospel of John.  This reminds me of a part of Pastor Brian’s sermon last week when he used an analogy from Francis Chan.  If my dad tells me to clean my room, I have two choices: I can choose to obey or disobey.  It doesn’t matter if I memorize my father’s command, analyze the Greek roots, and study it closely with a group of friends.  If I choose not to clean my room, I am being disobedient – I am failing to show my dad that I love him.  In the same way, I can constantly and eloquently profess my love for God as Freddy does to Eliza, but what good is that if my actions do not reflect my words?  If I never said I loved God, would anyone be able to tell that I did?

Acknowledging these truths, I am forced to ask myself a series of questions.  Do I believe in God?  Do I say I love God?  Do I actually love God?  Is my love for God evident?  Do I obey His commands?  Finally, what is my attitude in obeying?  Do I obey grudgingly or with a willing heart? 

We would all be doomed if God had only the extent of Eliza Doolittle's grace and patience.  Only God can love perfectly. We will always fall short, but we can improve with the aid of the Helper.  What an amazing God we serve, who, even when we fail to reciprocate His love, turn our backs, or go as far as accusing Him of apathy, still loves us. Next time I find myself studying but not obeying God's commands, I might just exclaim, "This is no time for a chat!"          



God is calling you and me to love Him.  Do you love Him?  Show Him. 

Love Like an Ocean

This afternoon I took a walk and God directed me toward the beach.  I hope all of you were able to spend some time outside, today.  The way the winter sun danced on the frost and illuminated the veil of fog over the Puget Sound was absolutely breathtaking!  I had a lot of questions for God, today, and, to be honest, I was angry - not for any particular reason, which only compounded my frustration.  Asking God for peace and thanking Him for His incredible patience with me, my spirit gradually calmed.  Finally, standing on the beach, I said Well, I'm here, Lord.  I was struck by the beauty and serenity of the waters.  I watched the waves form, then sigh as they met with the beach and slowly returned from whence they had come. I am in awe of the ocean - its beauty, power, rage, and serenity all in one.  As I consider it, the ocean points me to its creator more and more.  Like the ocean, God has many characteristics, seemingly conflicting when only named, yet all in agreement, forming God's perfection.  This shared attribute of God and the ocean reminds me of C.S. Lewis' comment on Aslan throughout the "Chronicles of Narnia" series: "He is not a tame lion".  God and the ocean.  So exquisite, so wild.  The concept is so beautiful to me!

The ocean is big.  I may stand by the ferry landing, look across the Puget Sound and see Kingston and deceive myself into thinking the ocean is smaller than it is, but the ocean is so much larger than the small section I can see.  I hope someday to find myself in the middle of the ocean, with nothing but water as far as I can see.  Even perceiving it completely, the vastness of the ocean is nothing compared to God.  Compared to God's presence, it is infinitely smaller than a subatomic particle.  Doesn't that blow your mind? Despite God's vastness, it is all too easy to only see the Puget Sound of God's great ocean and, thereby deceiving oneself, believe He is much smaller and possesses much less power than He does in reality.  It is human tendency to belittle God's power and put Him in a box, saying God can't do that, when the need surpasses the powers we have relegated to Him.  We are so foolish!  God is infinite in both size and power.  Our incomprehension of these things is inevitable.  Our attempts to control God, to limit His sovereignty, on the other hand, look plain ridiculous.  Our God is not tame, nor will He ever be, despite our best efforts to limit Him.  I am most certainly thankful for that.  What would my life look like if God conformed to my idea of His power?  I would be stuck in the hardest circumstances of life with no hope of escape.  Praise God that He is more powerful than we can ever imagine!

I have always been drawn to water.  If there are waves, I want to stand before them and allow them to crash over me.  I didn't need God to say, What are you waiting for?  Get in there!  But He did anyway :) In a few seconds (that seemed much too long) I stood in the path of the water, jeans rolled up, shoes in hand.  The water was the clearest I have seen it in years, exquisite.  I longed for it.  I wanted to feel the beauty, the freezing refreshment. I expected it to be cold.  I knew it was cold.  Then the wave broke over my feet.  It was cold!  How silly.  Really, Emily?  You already knew that.  It doesn't matter how many times you step into cold water, though.  It is always a shock that causes a quick inhale and occasionally a slight hop-skip.  I react the very same way every time I encounter God's grace and love for me.  Surely I know that "nothing... [is] able to separate us from the love of God" (Romans 8:39) and He loves me unconditionally, but I am still shocked when that grace and love is extended to me.  God says, "Come" and I respond with "Whoah.  Hold on there!  That is not the way this should work!"  When met with open arms, I step back, if only for a moment, to let God know that His ways are strange.  Maybe I half expect Him to reconsider sometime.  I should know better.  Christ died for my sins so that God can welcome me back without fail, no matter what stupid thing I have done this time.  Such is the beauty of grace. 

After the initial shock, the coldness of the water feels so good, even though the air temperature rests in the mid-40's.  I probably thought warm, dry shoes were nice, but it cannot compare to wading through the icy cold. The water quickly becomes what seems natural.  I turned my back on the water and walked back toward dry sand, intending to reintroduce my shoes to their rightful place, but I looked back at the gentle swells and yearned to be back in it.  How could I leave?  Back to the water I strode and waded through it along the beach.  God's grace is irresistible.  When I stop seeking him with my whole heart, settling for "good enough" I yearn for so much more - what I knew and rested in before.  Walking in God's grace, how can I keep from desiring to be anything less than radical?  Completely sold out to the great I AM.

As I walked along, the waves gently lapping at me, I noticed the shells.  Some were whole.  Some were broken.  And I watched as the waves brought the broken pieces to the beach and set them down to rest.  Sometimes the pieces fall back, poised to tumble back into helplessness.  That is when the next wave comes and nudges it a little farther up the beach, a little at a time until the broken shell is secure.  I am like these shells: broken, helpless, with no means by which to save  myself.  That is when the grace of God comes to rescue me and sets me upon the beach to rest.  When other things push me back toward utter defeat and hopelessness, God does not abandon me.  He gently nudges me toward safety.

As I neared the concrete walkway jutting out into the water, inevitably ending my trek, a little boy passed by with his mother and sister on the sidewalk above.  He pointed at me and exclaimed, "Look what she's doing, mom!" with astonished amazement.  This didn't bother me in the slightest.  I was certainly doing something worth noticing.  My actions were strange, out of place.  No one else would even consider removing their shoes and walking in the water in this weather as I did.  Nevertheless, it was good that I did because I loved it.  If we truly seek God with our whole hearts, people will notice.  Like the boy today, they will look at us and think, That's strange!  No one else is doing that!  It is good that people recognize a difference when we seek God wholeheartedly.  If they don't, my guess is we are doing something wrong.

Well, I came to the end of my strip of beach, so I walked the yard or two back to the wall that separates the fray, Washington sand from the raised sidewalk and clambered atop it.  A woman walked by as I fixed my jeans and attempted to clean my shoes enough to be practical.  "How was it?", she inquired, smiling.  "Good", I replied with a joyful smile to match her own smile of humored incredulousness.  Good.  So good.  You have no idea.  The world saw a girl who was either slightly crazed or had a distorted idea of fun with soaked, dirty, cold feet.  But it was so much more than walking in freezing cold water during late fall to me!  I was communing with my Father.  When the woman asked "how was it?", I wasn't really thinking about the water.  I was thinking of the peace and contentment He had brought into my soul while I did this crazy thing I love.

I sat on that ledge  for a while, staring at the water, the waves.  Have you ever noticed the texture of the water's surface?  Even if "waves" are not forming, the water is always moving.  The same is true of God's grace and love.  He does not stand back and watch us struggle, he pursues us.  His love is always on the move.  It never lies dormant.  That would be impossible!  Can you imagine the ocean completely still, with not a single molecule shifting within it?  The water would not be water, the ocean would not be the ocean, God's love would not be God's love if it wasn't active. 

Eventually, I moved to a bench on the concrete outcropping where, rather than facing the ocean head on, my gaze followed the line of the beach.  The sun shone down on the waves pooled upon the beach, turning them to pure gold.  God's creation dazzles me.  It was so bright I could not look consistently at its entirety.  I often chose a small segment of beach and watched each wave flow in an out of its reach.  This, too, reminded me of God's greatness.  I can neither see nor comprehend the entirety of God's plan, His grace, His love.  I can grasp but tiny increments of different aspects of Him.  How awesome is the Lord our God that only a glimpse of who He is confounds our naive minds. 

Soon after I sat down, a man came and settled himself on the bench next to mine.  We smiled and greeted one another like old friends.  Then he said, "Days like this bring you hope, don't they?".  "Yes, they do", I replied.  Then he said something about spring and winter ending but I didn't quite catch it.  I was lost in the wonder of the hope and peace the Lord had granted me in the last two hours of contemplating his beautiful creation.  Today, Philippians 4:6 held true for me - "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, in prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."   

I used to sing "Peace Like a River" in choir, at church, as a preschooler. The second verse says "I've got love like an ocean, I've got love like an ocean, I've got love like an ocean in my soul".  This rang so true for me today.  God is love and He is like an ocean, but He is so much more.  He is so much bigger, so much more powerful than that.  I could sing "I've got love like a universe" and it would be hardly any closer to God's magnitude.  As it is, I have yet to grasp the idea of love like an ocean.  The Creator amazes me.  I pray I will one day be able to fully grasp the grandeur of love like an ocean.  Until then, I will strive to rest in my Father's peace that transcends all understanding, coming to know Him more and more when I seek Him with my whole heart.

      

    

Hope

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) "'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future'."

Those who trust in God, love Him and seek His face have a hope like no other. Many times, I diminish the nature of this hope. I often think of it as a sort of vague optimism brought by knowing God. That is so far from all this hope really is. The hope we have in Christ is certain. It is pointed, defined. Christ's death and resurrection gives me the hope of everlasting life with God. When I leave this world, I will reside in a place of ultimate joy, filled with the light of God's presence. The KJV version says that God plans to give us "an expected end". For me, the most terrifying aspect of death is not knowing what it will be like or what exactly happens afterward. I am a very logical person - I like steps and formulas. I want to know every little detail of what goes on when a person dies. Not existing is the most terrifying thing I can think of. In Christ, I don't have to be afraid because I know what awaits me after death and it is wonderful.

"'He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away'" - Revelations 21:4 (ESV)

And whatever comes between physical life and heaven, I am secure in the fact that it will be okay because God is good and he cares for me.

Praise God that He loved us so much that he took all of our sins - past, present, and future - upon himself to save us from the worst death imaginable, separation from Him for all eternity. I pray that you will join me in more actively living out of this truth. Jesus has conquered fear. He has conquered death. May we find joy and peace in the hope He has bought for us with his cleansing blood.