"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline"
- 2 Timothy 1:7
This verse was written on the wall of Snohomish County Christian School's lunchroom, where I went to school from kindergarten through third grade. I read it every day - often stared at it and wondered what it meant. I understood the words, but didn't grasp how it applies to my life or why it is important. I get it now.
God knew I needed this verse today and reminded me of it. Paul's letter to Timothy is so sweet and encouraging! In the first chapter, Paul encourages Timothy to boldly spread the gospel because Paul has witnessed Timothy's sincere faith.
I have lived far too much of my life in fear but, a few months ago, I decided it was time for that to end. I was afraid of so many things: spiders, sickness, heights, death, failure, rejection, bad grades, shots, you name it, everything from the completely irrational to very legitimate. Sometimes, there was only a small nagging worry, but, other times, the fear was crippling. Fear is not what God wants for us. He did not give us a spirit of timidity! I have found Philippians 4:6 to be very true in my life. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your cares to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Isn't that beautiful and freeing?
If you spend a lot of time with me, you may know that I hate talking to groups of people. I have no problem talking to individual people, but if I have to address more than four people, it is not a happy experience. Presentations have always been the bane of my existence. This is me reciting Shakespeare for my 9th grade Honors English class: red face, racing heart, shaking uncontrollably, clenching and unclenching my hands, talking as fast as possible, and practically running to my seat when I finish. I'm a lot better now, but presentations still make me nervous. If I say something in class, at youth group, or small group I: a. have been asked a direct question b. am being very brave c. know the answer for sure and say it as concisely as possible d. think what I have to say is important.
In case you haven't heard, I'M GOING TO AFRICA!!!!!!!! I am sooooooo excited!!! On a side note, more information is coming, I promise. This presents a whole new challenge. The prospect of speaking about my trip in front of the entire congregation is very scary, but I know it's not something God wants me to avoid. I am afraid of being asked hard questions, not having answers, being unable to find the right words, standing there saying I don't know how to explain. When I say I can't explain something, I really mean it. There are no coherent thoughts, only a smattering of words that really wouldn't make sense to anyone else, feelings that cannot be communicated in words. So, right now, I am praying for boldness as I prepare to minister to the people of South Africa and Zambia and I would greatly appreciate your prayers as well. For me, this is the scariest part of going to Africa, but I am confident that God will give me the words because telling others about my trip brings Him honor and glory. We were created to bring God glory and He said "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).
During the past few months, I have been intentionally doing things that scare me, and it feels so good. Once I start, it's really not that hard. The scary part isn't riding on the zipline or having a conversation, it's climbing up and stepping off the platform or saying the first word. We should not allow fear to deter us. In the words of Tenth Avenue North, "You don't have to be afraid, 'cause fear is just a lie, open up your eyes."
I don't have to be afraid. You don't have to be afraid. We don't have to be afraid. Ever. Our God has given us a spirit of power to overcome, a spirit of love to reach out to those around us, and a spirit of self-discipline to grow into the children He created us to be, to become more like Him. "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (John 14:27). In Isaiah 41:13, the Lord says, "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." I want to end with what I think is one of the most amazing promises in the entire bible: "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (Mathhew 28:20). God Himself is literally with us, no matter where we go; He is our Helper. God has promised to help us, so we have nothing to fear.
No Fear. Only Purpose.
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ!
