Purpose in Pain

Pain. It's something every one of us experiences and no one genuinely enjoys.  There are countless circumstances that cause us pain. Maybe you're in pain because of a medical condition or an accident. Maybe you've been hurt emotionally by your church, your family, your friends. Maybe you're going through a divorce or have lost a family member. Would you choose pain if you had the option of living a completely pain-free life? My immediate reaction is "Absolutely not! Are you kidding? You'd have to be crazy to choose pain!". 

In November, I rededicated my life to Christ and, as I seek Him, He has revealed a lot to me about the pain that had been slowly strangling me. I felt betrayed, rejected, abandoned, unloved, alone,  dirty, desperate, hopeless for years and I kept my mouth shut because the devil trapped me in overwhelming fear of how people would react if I dared to bare my heart. I was confused and lost, wandering down a very dark path, suffering from depression and eventually seriously considering taking my own life.

Throughout all of that, I asked a lot of questions like "Why is this happening? Where is God? Doesn't He care? Have I been believing a lie? Because it seems to me that God either isn't good or doesn't exist". I couldn't answer any of those at the time, but now God had healed my broken heart and given me new perspective.

Pain helps us grow. The old cliché is "Pain makes you stronger", but first it makes you weaker. It destroys you. When I hit rock bottom, I couldn't save myself - I needed a savior. Christ rescued and redeemed me. All of the sudden, I had a very real understanding of the power, grace, and love of God. Jesus Christ became my everything because I knew that without Him I had nothing. When I think about saving grace, I don't just have a vague picture of Jesus dying on the cross  to save me from my sins so I can spend eternity with Him, I remember how He came down into my darkness and rescued me from the closest thing to hell I know. I feel the heartbreak, I know the incredible joy and peace. Would I be so in love with God if I had been spared the pain? Well, would a perfect person with a perfect life need a savior?

We experience pain because we live in a fallen world. Our own sins and the sins of every human to ever walk the earth cause pain. Humans lie, cheat, steal, kill, humiliate, reject, fail to love. Sin and pain are inseparable. God would have to do away with sin to eradicate pain, but sin is the expression of our free will - the choice God gives us to choose or reject Him. After death, followers of Christ will live forever with God in heaven, where there is no pain because there isn't any sin.  "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Revelation 21:4) Jesus paid the price on the cross to defeat sin and pain once and for all, but we still have to choose Him. God would never force Himself on us - that's not a relationship. He wants each of us to have an intimate relationship with Him, to love Him with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength as He loves us.

Have you ever felt that God doesn't understand your pain? It's easy to say, but it's not true in the slightest. When Jesus died on the cross, he took on not only the sins of the world, but all the pain that goes with it as well. Take your pain and multiply it by 7 billion and you'll have a better idea of what Jesus suffered.  Still, that's only an approximate of the living human population! Billions more have walked the earth before us and perhaps billions more will come after us depending on when Jesus comes back. Yeah, I'm pretty sure God understands my pain. Actually, it's amazing that He cares about me and my tiny drop in the ocean of pain at all.

God loves each of us beyond our comprehension.  As I look back on those hard years, I see that He never left for a moment. He was always there whispering, nudging, using people to lead me back home. I was just too blinded by fear and lies to see it until later. God has used my pain to give me understanding, perspective, love, and empathy. God has a purpose for the pain each of us endures.  Paul says in Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." He makes beautiful things out of us.  I pray that you will surrender to God and let Him meet you in the pain you hold inside to bring comfort, joy, and healing into your life. He is the great Redeemer, Rescuer, and Restorer.

I choose to surrender, "to know the lasting joy, even sharing in [His] pain".