Pain. It's something every one of us experiences and no one genuinely enjoys. There are countless circumstances that cause us pain. Maybe you're in pain because of a medical condition or an accident. Maybe you've been hurt emotionally by your church, your family, your friends. Maybe you're going through a divorce or have lost a family member. Would you choose pain if you had the option of living a completely pain-free life? My immediate reaction is "Absolutely not! Are you kidding? You'd have to be crazy to choose pain!".
In November, I rededicated my life to Christ and, as I seek Him, He has revealed a lot to me about the pain that had been slowly strangling me. I felt betrayed, rejected, abandoned, unloved, alone, dirty, desperate, hopeless for years and I kept my mouth shut because the devil trapped me in overwhelming fear of how people would react if I dared to bare my heart. I was confused and lost, wandering down a very dark path, suffering from depression and eventually seriously considering taking my own life.
Throughout all of that, I asked a lot of questions like "Why is this happening? Where is God? Doesn't He care? Have I been believing a lie? Because it seems to me that God either isn't good or doesn't exist". I couldn't answer any of those at the time, but now God had healed my broken heart and given me new perspective.
Pain helps us grow. The old cliché is "Pain makes you stronger", but first it makes you weaker. It destroys you. When I hit rock bottom, I couldn't save myself - I needed a savior. Christ rescued and redeemed me. All of the sudden, I had a very real understanding of the power, grace, and love of God. Jesus Christ became my everything because I knew that without Him I had nothing. When I think about saving grace, I don't just have a vague picture of Jesus dying on the cross to save me from my sins so I can spend eternity with Him, I remember how He came down into my darkness and rescued me from the closest thing to hell I know. I feel the heartbreak, I know the incredible joy and peace. Would I be so in love with God if I had been spared the pain? Well, would a perfect person with a perfect life need a savior?
We experience pain because we live in a fallen world. Our own sins and the sins of every human to ever walk the earth cause pain. Humans lie, cheat, steal, kill, humiliate, reject, fail to love. Sin and pain are inseparable. God would have to do away with sin to eradicate pain, but sin is the expression of our free will - the choice God gives us to choose or reject Him. After death, followers of Christ will live forever with God in heaven, where there is no pain because there isn't any sin. "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Revelation 21:4) Jesus paid the price on the cross to defeat sin and pain once and for all, but we still have to choose Him. God would never force Himself on us - that's not a relationship. He wants each of us to have an intimate relationship with Him, to love Him with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength as He loves us.
Have you ever felt that God doesn't understand your pain? It's easy to say, but it's not true in the slightest. When Jesus died on the cross, he took on not only the sins of the world, but all the pain that goes with it as well. Take your pain and multiply it by 7 billion and you'll have a better idea of what Jesus suffered. Still, that's only an approximate of the living human population! Billions more have walked the earth before us and perhaps billions more will come after us depending on when Jesus comes back. Yeah, I'm pretty sure God understands my pain. Actually, it's amazing that He cares about me and my tiny drop in the ocean of pain at all.
God loves each of us beyond our comprehension. As I look back on those hard years, I see that He never left for a moment. He was always there whispering, nudging, using people to lead me back home. I was just too blinded by fear and lies to see it until later. God has used my pain to give me understanding, perspective, love, and empathy. God has a purpose for the pain each of us endures. Paul says in Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." He makes beautiful things out of us. I pray that you will surrender to God and let Him meet you in the pain you hold inside to bring comfort, joy, and healing into your life. He is the great Redeemer, Rescuer, and Restorer.
I choose to surrender, "to know the lasting joy, even sharing in [His] pain".
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Sunday, February 5, 2012
No Fear. Only Purpose
"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline"
- 2 Timothy 1:7
This verse was written on the wall of Snohomish County Christian School's lunchroom, where I went to school from kindergarten through third grade. I read it every day - often stared at it and wondered what it meant. I understood the words, but didn't grasp how it applies to my life or why it is important. I get it now.
God knew I needed this verse today and reminded me of it. Paul's letter to Timothy is so sweet and encouraging! In the first chapter, Paul encourages Timothy to boldly spread the gospel because Paul has witnessed Timothy's sincere faith.
I have lived far too much of my life in fear but, a few months ago, I decided it was time for that to end. I was afraid of so many things: spiders, sickness, heights, death, failure, rejection, bad grades, shots, you name it, everything from the completely irrational to very legitimate. Sometimes, there was only a small nagging worry, but, other times, the fear was crippling. Fear is not what God wants for us. He did not give us a spirit of timidity! I have found Philippians 4:6 to be very true in my life. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your cares to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Isn't that beautiful and freeing?
If you spend a lot of time with me, you may know that I hate talking to groups of people. I have no problem talking to individual people, but if I have to address more than four people, it is not a happy experience. Presentations have always been the bane of my existence. This is me reciting Shakespeare for my 9th grade Honors English class: red face, racing heart, shaking uncontrollably, clenching and unclenching my hands, talking as fast as possible, and practically running to my seat when I finish. I'm a lot better now, but presentations still make me nervous. If I say something in class, at youth group, or small group I: a. have been asked a direct question b. am being very brave c. know the answer for sure and say it as concisely as possible d. think what I have to say is important.
In case you haven't heard, I'M GOING TO AFRICA!!!!!!!! I am sooooooo excited!!! On a side note, more information is coming, I promise. This presents a whole new challenge. The prospect of speaking about my trip in front of the entire congregation is very scary, but I know it's not something God wants me to avoid. I am afraid of being asked hard questions, not having answers, being unable to find the right words, standing there saying I don't know how to explain. When I say I can't explain something, I really mean it. There are no coherent thoughts, only a smattering of words that really wouldn't make sense to anyone else, feelings that cannot be communicated in words. So, right now, I am praying for boldness as I prepare to minister to the people of South Africa and Zambia and I would greatly appreciate your prayers as well. For me, this is the scariest part of going to Africa, but I am confident that God will give me the words because telling others about my trip brings Him honor and glory. We were created to bring God glory and He said "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).
During the past few months, I have been intentionally doing things that scare me, and it feels so good. Once I start, it's really not that hard. The scary part isn't riding on the zipline or having a conversation, it's climbing up and stepping off the platform or saying the first word. We should not allow fear to deter us. In the words of Tenth Avenue North, "You don't have to be afraid, 'cause fear is just a lie, open up your eyes."
I don't have to be afraid. You don't have to be afraid. We don't have to be afraid. Ever. Our God has given us a spirit of power to overcome, a spirit of love to reach out to those around us, and a spirit of self-discipline to grow into the children He created us to be, to become more like Him. "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (John 14:27). In Isaiah 41:13, the Lord says, "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." I want to end with what I think is one of the most amazing promises in the entire bible: "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (Mathhew 28:20). God Himself is literally with us, no matter where we go; He is our Helper. God has promised to help us, so we have nothing to fear.
No Fear. Only Purpose.
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ!
- 2 Timothy 1:7
This verse was written on the wall of Snohomish County Christian School's lunchroom, where I went to school from kindergarten through third grade. I read it every day - often stared at it and wondered what it meant. I understood the words, but didn't grasp how it applies to my life or why it is important. I get it now.
God knew I needed this verse today and reminded me of it. Paul's letter to Timothy is so sweet and encouraging! In the first chapter, Paul encourages Timothy to boldly spread the gospel because Paul has witnessed Timothy's sincere faith.
I have lived far too much of my life in fear but, a few months ago, I decided it was time for that to end. I was afraid of so many things: spiders, sickness, heights, death, failure, rejection, bad grades, shots, you name it, everything from the completely irrational to very legitimate. Sometimes, there was only a small nagging worry, but, other times, the fear was crippling. Fear is not what God wants for us. He did not give us a spirit of timidity! I have found Philippians 4:6 to be very true in my life. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your cares to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Isn't that beautiful and freeing?
If you spend a lot of time with me, you may know that I hate talking to groups of people. I have no problem talking to individual people, but if I have to address more than four people, it is not a happy experience. Presentations have always been the bane of my existence. This is me reciting Shakespeare for my 9th grade Honors English class: red face, racing heart, shaking uncontrollably, clenching and unclenching my hands, talking as fast as possible, and practically running to my seat when I finish. I'm a lot better now, but presentations still make me nervous. If I say something in class, at youth group, or small group I: a. have been asked a direct question b. am being very brave c. know the answer for sure and say it as concisely as possible d. think what I have to say is important.
In case you haven't heard, I'M GOING TO AFRICA!!!!!!!! I am sooooooo excited!!! On a side note, more information is coming, I promise. This presents a whole new challenge. The prospect of speaking about my trip in front of the entire congregation is very scary, but I know it's not something God wants me to avoid. I am afraid of being asked hard questions, not having answers, being unable to find the right words, standing there saying I don't know how to explain. When I say I can't explain something, I really mean it. There are no coherent thoughts, only a smattering of words that really wouldn't make sense to anyone else, feelings that cannot be communicated in words. So, right now, I am praying for boldness as I prepare to minister to the people of South Africa and Zambia and I would greatly appreciate your prayers as well. For me, this is the scariest part of going to Africa, but I am confident that God will give me the words because telling others about my trip brings Him honor and glory. We were created to bring God glory and He said "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).
During the past few months, I have been intentionally doing things that scare me, and it feels so good. Once I start, it's really not that hard. The scary part isn't riding on the zipline or having a conversation, it's climbing up and stepping off the platform or saying the first word. We should not allow fear to deter us. In the words of Tenth Avenue North, "You don't have to be afraid, 'cause fear is just a lie, open up your eyes."
I don't have to be afraid. You don't have to be afraid. We don't have to be afraid. Ever. Our God has given us a spirit of power to overcome, a spirit of love to reach out to those around us, and a spirit of self-discipline to grow into the children He created us to be, to become more like Him. "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (John 14:27). In Isaiah 41:13, the Lord says, "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." I want to end with what I think is one of the most amazing promises in the entire bible: "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (Mathhew 28:20). God Himself is literally with us, no matter where we go; He is our Helper. God has promised to help us, so we have nothing to fear.
No Fear. Only Purpose.
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
One Thing at a Time
Lately, I've been a ping-pong ball - absolutely bouncing off the walls! Let me qualify that. I, myself, physically, am NOT bouncing off the walls whatsoever, seeing as I have been working through a horrendous three-week cold. However, my heart is. Not my physical heart, either - I'm not talking about SVT (although the metaphor seems to fit, oddly enough). I'm talking about my soul.
I've blogged about dreams before, of a plan, a purpose. Those dreams seem closer and more alive than ever. There is so much I have been blessed with, so many ways to glorify God with what I have recieved. My heart is constantly racing from idea to idea, asking What about this, God? I could do that! Did you allow that to happen to me so I could do this? Do you want me to do that, God? While all of these dreams are noble, worthwhile pursuits, most of them are not things that God has called me to yet. Have you ever dreamed of doing something you know you were cut out for - it seems your whole life has been preparing you for it? That's how I feel, but God hasn't called me to that at this point. Hmmm. Yet. That is the word that soothes my anxious heart. Both God and I know that, obviously, I am not ready and this is not the time. (Now I'm struggling not to use the word "yet" haha.)
"Where you go, I'll go, where you stay, I'll stay, when you move, I'll move, I will follow you." I love this song so much! It was the theme song last summer at Camp Berachah when I was a CIT (counselor-in-training). If you have never been in a room surrounded by over a hundred kids worshipping the Lord with all their hearts... it's just wow! I don't know what to say. I've never experienced anything like it. The Spirit is alive and moving. That's for sure! Anyway, I've been realizing, recently, how important the "stay" part - waiting - is. It's so exhilirating and scary and awesome to be called by God to move and to answer the call, saying "Yes, God! I'll move with You. I will go where You go"! In the midst of moving, though, God tells me to wait. How frustrating is that? "Yes! I'll go! I'm so excited! You want to use me! Wait. Did I hear that right? Wait? Really? Now? Can't we just go? I thought we were moving!" In a way, staying is more difficult than moving. God often calls us to do the opposite of what we think we want to do - it helps us grow. When we want to stay and He asks us to move, it takes courage and we have to learn to trust Him. When we want to move and He asks us to stay, we have to learn to wait on Him, to depend on Him and only Him.
I've been musing a lot about callings. How does one distinguish between something he or she desires and something God has called that person to? It took me awhile, but now that I read the question put this way, it seems embarassingly obvious. When I think about something I want to do (that I haven't necessarily been called to do), all the reasons why I should begin with "I" or center around me. Conversely, when God calls me to do something, the reasons why I should begin with and center around God and what He wants. Sometimes when you're called by God, this crazy thing happens - you have an insatiable desire to do something you... don't really want to do. Well, something you wouldn't normally want to do, anyway. I couldn't pinpoint when it happens, but this lack of desire doesn't matter at all because you're on fire! You hardly give a thought to things you would most likely never do if left to your own desires.
Back to moving and waiting. Waiting is hard! I expected a run, like a cross country race, but God seems to have a series of sprints planned for me, instead. Now I need to learn to wait. Peacefully. In the quiet. Yet in waiting, there is also moving - pursuing God as He pursues me. While I wait, I pray that God will mold my heart to be like His and that He will make His will become mine. I need to surrender (aha!) my dreams and desires, my anxiety and restlesness. Only then can I move with Him with the same purpose, for the same reasons. Make my heart like yours, God.
And about that ping-pong ball... I am confident that feeling will fade as I learn to rest while I wait. I think part of it is my stubborness, an unwilligness to be patient. "If I can't move this way, I'll dream up some other way to move!" While God asks me to wait, I try to move ahead of him. Big surprise: it doesn't work! Sometimes, He courteously acknowledges a question with "not yet" or "someday", but, most of the time, He is silent, which works really well. It makes me wake up and realize I can't move with Him unless He's moving. Ummm duh. Thank you, God, for being so patient and understanding when I am not!
Wait. Trust. Quiet. Pursue. Hush. Surrender. Even writing this post, sorting it all out, I can feel my heart drawing closer to His.
"One thing at a time, love," He says. I think I'm starting to understand.
I've blogged about dreams before, of a plan, a purpose. Those dreams seem closer and more alive than ever. There is so much I have been blessed with, so many ways to glorify God with what I have recieved. My heart is constantly racing from idea to idea, asking What about this, God? I could do that! Did you allow that to happen to me so I could do this? Do you want me to do that, God? While all of these dreams are noble, worthwhile pursuits, most of them are not things that God has called me to yet. Have you ever dreamed of doing something you know you were cut out for - it seems your whole life has been preparing you for it? That's how I feel, but God hasn't called me to that at this point. Hmmm. Yet. That is the word that soothes my anxious heart. Both God and I know that, obviously, I am not ready and this is not the time. (Now I'm struggling not to use the word "yet" haha.)
"Where you go, I'll go, where you stay, I'll stay, when you move, I'll move, I will follow you." I love this song so much! It was the theme song last summer at Camp Berachah when I was a CIT (counselor-in-training). If you have never been in a room surrounded by over a hundred kids worshipping the Lord with all their hearts... it's just wow! I don't know what to say. I've never experienced anything like it. The Spirit is alive and moving. That's for sure! Anyway, I've been realizing, recently, how important the "stay" part - waiting - is. It's so exhilirating and scary and awesome to be called by God to move and to answer the call, saying "Yes, God! I'll move with You. I will go where You go"! In the midst of moving, though, God tells me to wait. How frustrating is that? "Yes! I'll go! I'm so excited! You want to use me! Wait. Did I hear that right? Wait? Really? Now? Can't we just go? I thought we were moving!" In a way, staying is more difficult than moving. God often calls us to do the opposite of what we think we want to do - it helps us grow. When we want to stay and He asks us to move, it takes courage and we have to learn to trust Him. When we want to move and He asks us to stay, we have to learn to wait on Him, to depend on Him and only Him.
I've been musing a lot about callings. How does one distinguish between something he or she desires and something God has called that person to? It took me awhile, but now that I read the question put this way, it seems embarassingly obvious. When I think about something I want to do (that I haven't necessarily been called to do), all the reasons why I should begin with "I" or center around me. Conversely, when God calls me to do something, the reasons why I should begin with and center around God and what He wants. Sometimes when you're called by God, this crazy thing happens - you have an insatiable desire to do something you... don't really want to do. Well, something you wouldn't normally want to do, anyway. I couldn't pinpoint when it happens, but this lack of desire doesn't matter at all because you're on fire! You hardly give a thought to things you would most likely never do if left to your own desires.
Back to moving and waiting. Waiting is hard! I expected a run, like a cross country race, but God seems to have a series of sprints planned for me, instead. Now I need to learn to wait. Peacefully. In the quiet. Yet in waiting, there is also moving - pursuing God as He pursues me. While I wait, I pray that God will mold my heart to be like His and that He will make His will become mine. I need to surrender (aha!) my dreams and desires, my anxiety and restlesness. Only then can I move with Him with the same purpose, for the same reasons. Make my heart like yours, God.
And about that ping-pong ball... I am confident that feeling will fade as I learn to rest while I wait. I think part of it is my stubborness, an unwilligness to be patient. "If I can't move this way, I'll dream up some other way to move!" While God asks me to wait, I try to move ahead of him. Big surprise: it doesn't work! Sometimes, He courteously acknowledges a question with "not yet" or "someday", but, most of the time, He is silent, which works really well. It makes me wake up and realize I can't move with Him unless He's moving. Ummm duh. Thank you, God, for being so patient and understanding when I am not!
Wait. Trust. Quiet. Pursue. Hush. Surrender. Even writing this post, sorting it all out, I can feel my heart drawing closer to His.
"One thing at a time, love," He says. I think I'm starting to understand.
Monday, January 9, 2012
One Word: Surrender
Every year, a community of people choose one word each to focus on for the entire year in lieu of making a list of resolutions. Choosing one word makes it easier to stay focused. The cool thing about choosing one word is the opportunity to explore it for a whole year, looking at it from different angles, acting on it, and watching it become manifested in your life.
I'm a little late to the game. This is my first official year of choosing one word to seek out and strive toward - but it almost didn't happen. I'm bad at resolutions. That doesn't really make sense (there seems to be a verb missing), but it's true. It's not necessarily keeping them or remembering them that is hard - although those may be contributing factors - I'm horrible at coming up with things to resolve. I make resolutions all year long and then, the one time of the year society dictates I am "supposed" to make resolutions, nothing comes to mind. Either that or they are silly, insignificant things that I immediately toss. Well then, this one word thing sounded pretty good to me, so I decided to try it after a few years of reading about other people's words and their experiences. So, I asked God for a word - what He wanted me to strive after, how He wanted to mold me, what He wanted to show me about myself, about the world, about Himself. And... wait. ... wait. ... wait... ... Okay.
My word is(!): ________
Nothing. Nothing came to mind. Well, not exactly nothing. I had an overwhelming amount of desires and goals for how I want to grow in Christ, but I couldn't describe half of that in four hundred pages. One word? You've gotta be kidding me. "I'm waiting, God..."
Let me tell you something about me and patience. I thought I was patient. I really, honestly did, months ago. God has been showing me in the last few months that I am not patient. Patience in no way describes me. I have trouble waiting for many things, especially answers, most especially answers from God. When I'm waiting for something, I become extremely restless. I pace. I tap my fingers. I can't do anything until what I am waiting for appears. When I'm waiting for an email, I refresh my email at least ten times every hour, fairly often, once a minute. Yes, I do realize none of this helps but... !!!!!! That's all.
I'm actually surprised now that God didn't give me the word patience. It's probably because He knows I'm already thinking about it all the time, now. I wonder why I didn't think of it myself...
After almost a week of waiting, I was... tired of waiting. It really wasn't that important to me and I was tired of spending time thinking about it and praying about it, so I gave up. Yup. "Fine. If you're not going to give me a word, I guess I just won't do this one word 365 thing. I don't really care anyway." Bad attitude :P
Guess what? I am doing one word 365 because, today, He gave me a word. "Why did You have to take so long? Would it really have been so bad to give me a word right when I asked for it?" "Weird," I thought, wondering why it came so randomly after I stopped caring. "Cool". Maybe He thought I needed to defy cultural standards. However, it is definitely about patience. "Right now" is exactly the problem. I need to be willing to wait however long it takes with peace that God knows what I need and will give it to me in his perfect timing.
So. Here we go again.
My word for 2012 is surrender.
This year, I want to:
Surrender my life
Surrender my desires
Surrender my hopes
Surrender my time
Surrender school
Surrender my relationships
Surrender my doubts
Surrender my fears
Surrender each moment
Surrender everything that centers around "I" or includes "right now"
Surrender to a love I can hardly begin to imagine
Surrender to a God I want to know more and more
Surrender to His perfect plan for my life, leaving all other things behind
What I really like about One Word 365 is I don't have to know exactly what this word will mean for my life this year, exactly how I want to change. God can show me new things through this word all year - how He wants me to change, what He wants me to learn. It's amazing how many aspects one word can have. Reading other people's posts about the word they chose, I was often surprised by what that word meant to them because I was thinking about it in a completely different way.
If you could choose one word to focus on this year,
what would it be?
Happy (late) New Year! I'm excited to see what God has planned for my life and each of yours, and what He wants to show me about surrendering this year!
I'm a little late to the game. This is my first official year of choosing one word to seek out and strive toward - but it almost didn't happen. I'm bad at resolutions. That doesn't really make sense (there seems to be a verb missing), but it's true. It's not necessarily keeping them or remembering them that is hard - although those may be contributing factors - I'm horrible at coming up with things to resolve. I make resolutions all year long and then, the one time of the year society dictates I am "supposed" to make resolutions, nothing comes to mind. Either that or they are silly, insignificant things that I immediately toss. Well then, this one word thing sounded pretty good to me, so I decided to try it after a few years of reading about other people's words and their experiences. So, I asked God for a word - what He wanted me to strive after, how He wanted to mold me, what He wanted to show me about myself, about the world, about Himself. And... wait. ... wait. ... wait... ... Okay.
My word is(!): ________
Nothing. Nothing came to mind. Well, not exactly nothing. I had an overwhelming amount of desires and goals for how I want to grow in Christ, but I couldn't describe half of that in four hundred pages. One word? You've gotta be kidding me. "I'm waiting, God..."
Let me tell you something about me and patience. I thought I was patient. I really, honestly did, months ago. God has been showing me in the last few months that I am not patient. Patience in no way describes me. I have trouble waiting for many things, especially answers, most especially answers from God. When I'm waiting for something, I become extremely restless. I pace. I tap my fingers. I can't do anything until what I am waiting for appears. When I'm waiting for an email, I refresh my email at least ten times every hour, fairly often, once a minute. Yes, I do realize none of this helps but... !!!!!! That's all.
I'm actually surprised now that God didn't give me the word patience. It's probably because He knows I'm already thinking about it all the time, now. I wonder why I didn't think of it myself...
After almost a week of waiting, I was... tired of waiting. It really wasn't that important to me and I was tired of spending time thinking about it and praying about it, so I gave up. Yup. "Fine. If you're not going to give me a word, I guess I just won't do this one word 365 thing. I don't really care anyway." Bad attitude :P
Guess what? I am doing one word 365 because, today, He gave me a word. "Why did You have to take so long? Would it really have been so bad to give me a word right when I asked for it?" "Weird," I thought, wondering why it came so randomly after I stopped caring. "Cool". Maybe He thought I needed to defy cultural standards. However, it is definitely about patience. "Right now" is exactly the problem. I need to be willing to wait however long it takes with peace that God knows what I need and will give it to me in his perfect timing.
So. Here we go again.
My word for 2012 is surrender.
This year, I want to:
Surrender my life
Surrender my desires
Surrender my hopes
Surrender my time
Surrender school
Surrender my relationships
Surrender my doubts
Surrender my fears
Surrender each moment
Surrender everything that centers around "I" or includes "right now"
Surrender to a love I can hardly begin to imagine
Surrender to a God I want to know more and more
Surrender to His perfect plan for my life, leaving all other things behind
What I really like about One Word 365 is I don't have to know exactly what this word will mean for my life this year, exactly how I want to change. God can show me new things through this word all year - how He wants me to change, what He wants me to learn. It's amazing how many aspects one word can have. Reading other people's posts about the word they chose, I was often surprised by what that word meant to them because I was thinking about it in a completely different way.
If you could choose one word to focus on this year,
what would it be?
Happy (late) New Year! I'm excited to see what God has planned for my life and each of yours, and what He wants to show me about surrendering this year!
Monday, December 26, 2011
Recalibration
This is going to sound cliche, but life is a journey and there are countless ways to live it. There seem to be many roads to walk, but, really, there are only two options. Jesus said, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it" (Matthew 7:13-14). It comes down to this. We can choose to walk in fellowship with God, glorifying Him, or we can choose to turn our backs and choose the other path. The broad road is enticing. It is filled with things the flesh lusts after. This is "All the Pretty Things" by Tenth Avenue North. It talks about how we get distracted by earthly things and asks God to help us stay focused on Him.
In the end, these things we allow to seduce us and draw us off the narrow road are empty. They leave us broken, unfulfilled. They steal our joy as we gradually lose our grip on our identity in Christ. Did I say steal? That's not quite right. It's certainly not a fair trade, but nothing can steal our joy, our identity. Addiction, abuse, the devil himself, whatever tempts or afflicts you, nothing has the power or authority to steal your identity in Christ or take you off the narrow road- you have to walk away yourself. This is comforting and convicting at the same time. Sometimes we are blind. We don't pay attention and consciously choose the narrow road. One day we wake up, look around, and see a mangled life, broken by sin, far from God. Thank God that He is never far from us. He is with you in your darkest moment - your greatest trial, your blackest sin, your guilt, your grief. Always. He is there when we hate Him. He is there when we kick and scream against Him. He is there when we blame Him. And He cares. God will "never leave you nor forsake you" (Deuteronomy 31:6). All this being said, when you go on a journey, you need someone to tell you which way to go - to guide you. These days, a GPS is often the guide of choice, with that ever nagging voice and horrific "recalculating". (Never try to use a GPS in downtown San Francisco. Just. Don't. Do. It.) Whose voice is your GPS? I should ask myself this question more often. Am I listening to God, trusting Him to guide my every footstep? Or am I giving the directions? Have you ever tried giving yourself directions to a place you have never been, without an address, in an area you don't know at all? Tomorrow, I think I'll go find Charley Schmorple's house in Indiana without a map, GPS, or phone book, without talking to anyone. See what I mean? Something tells me I'm going to be in Indiana for awhile. We can't always see, we are easily tempted, easily distracted, easily deceived, and we quickly abandon the narrow road. God is our perfect guide. He is omniscient and nothing can cause Him to sin. God is "a lamp to [our] feet and a light for [our] path" (Psalm 119:105). I want God to be the voice of the GPS that guides me through life. I desire to enter through the narrow gate and walk the narrow road. It takes courage. It requires constant decisions to deny ourselves, take up our crosses, and follow Jesus as He commanded. It's high time I changed the settings on my GPS. Let's choose God's voice and turn the volume all the way up.
Recalibrating
Recalibrating
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Overcoming Failure
Failure. It's a natural part of being human. Everyone fails, even those who project a seemingly perfect image to the world. It's a hard thing. No one enjoys failing. Failure often quickly turns into an ever-deepening despair. "I was inconsiderate toward that person" turns into "I fail to love people well", which turns into "I'm a horrible person", "I'll never be good enough", "No one could ever love me", and so on. We can't let our failures consume us. Beating ourselves up over our failures does nothing to help us, it only tempts us to fall into believing the lie that no one could ever love us. Christ has loved you. He still loves you when you fail. He will love you through the billions of failures in your lifetime.
Of course, it would be a huge mistake to ignore our failures. We are not perfect, our failures must be acknowledged. Rather than dwelling on them, though, we need to ask for forgiveness (when relevant) and ask God to help us improve. We need His help to change. This is something I am working on. I fail a lot and I tend to dwell on my failures. I have to remind myself not to sit in a puddle and bemoan my shortcomings, but ask God to help me change.
When you fail a math test, you want to do better next time. You get a better score by studying, not by giving in to despair and telling yourself "I'm stupid. I can't do this." What do you do if you have tried but simply cannot understand? You get a tutor - someone to help you. We need a tutor - the Holy Spirit - to help us overcome our failures. It's the only way we can pass the math test - overcome the failures that discourage us.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6
This applies to failure. We know our God is more powerful than we could ever imagine. He can save us from our failures. If we ask Him, He will give us peace. And not just "well-I-guess-it-will-be-okay peace", but peace so all-encompassing that we cannot comprehend it.
Praise God that we do not have to be perfect. Even in our worst failures, we are covered by His incredible grace.
Of course, it would be a huge mistake to ignore our failures. We are not perfect, our failures must be acknowledged. Rather than dwelling on them, though, we need to ask for forgiveness (when relevant) and ask God to help us improve. We need His help to change. This is something I am working on. I fail a lot and I tend to dwell on my failures. I have to remind myself not to sit in a puddle and bemoan my shortcomings, but ask God to help me change.
When you fail a math test, you want to do better next time. You get a better score by studying, not by giving in to despair and telling yourself "I'm stupid. I can't do this." What do you do if you have tried but simply cannot understand? You get a tutor - someone to help you. We need a tutor - the Holy Spirit - to help us overcome our failures. It's the only way we can pass the math test - overcome the failures that discourage us.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6
This applies to failure. We know our God is more powerful than we could ever imagine. He can save us from our failures. If we ask Him, He will give us peace. And not just "well-I-guess-it-will-be-okay peace", but peace so all-encompassing that we cannot comprehend it.
Praise God that we do not have to be perfect. Even in our worst failures, we are covered by His incredible grace.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Extraordinary Purpose
God has a plan for your life. Really! He has an extraordinary purpose for each of our lives. As I get to know God better, I have this overwhelming feeling of... something. Something great. The only word I can think of to describe it is expectation, but that doesn't do the feeling justice. The more I discover about God's heart as he molds mine, the more I am assured that I am on this earth to do great things. I don't know when, I don't know where, but I'm so excited to find out. Maybe, one day, He will take me to Indonesia, an African village, or a jungle in South America; or maybe He has something less exotic in mind. Maybe His plan has me in my hometown, simply loving people for the rest of my life. God can certainly use any one of us no matter where we are. Whatever he has planned, I know it will be amazaing.
My favorite passage from the Bible is Acts 17:24-28, when Paul presents the gospel to the Athenians. Acts 17:26 says "and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live". God decided exactly what second I would be born and exactly where I would live, here in Edmonds, before I was born. He already knows exactly where I will be this second, five years, ten years, fifty years from now! How crazy is that? I can't even say for sure what will happen tomorrow. One day, He'll tell me more about His plan for my life. One day, I'll discover what it is I've been waiting for. Until then, I can glorify God right where He has placed me.
I've never been much of a dreamer. I have always been defined by concrete, if lofty, goals. Until now. God's plan is so much better than mine could ever be. His plans are to give me a hope and a future - first, to glorify Him on earth, then, eventually, to spend eternity with Him. One day, I'll know what He has for me to do here. Until then, I can dream of what His marvelous plan for my life could be.
One day... maybe...
My favorite passage from the Bible is Acts 17:24-28, when Paul presents the gospel to the Athenians. Acts 17:26 says "and He determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live". God decided exactly what second I would be born and exactly where I would live, here in Edmonds, before I was born. He already knows exactly where I will be this second, five years, ten years, fifty years from now! How crazy is that? I can't even say for sure what will happen tomorrow. One day, He'll tell me more about His plan for my life. One day, I'll discover what it is I've been waiting for. Until then, I can glorify God right where He has placed me.
I've never been much of a dreamer. I have always been defined by concrete, if lofty, goals. Until now. God's plan is so much better than mine could ever be. His plans are to give me a hope and a future - first, to glorify Him on earth, then, eventually, to spend eternity with Him. One day, I'll know what He has for me to do here. Until then, I can dream of what His marvelous plan for my life could be.
One day... maybe...
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